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Trilogy: Dawn

by InMe

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1.
If you can hear my voice then rejoice for you are alive. My statement is simple & innocent yet still shines & thrives. I'm yet to discover all the complications. Freedom is yet to come undone. I forget I'm mortal, this whole world revolves for my sins. Ignoring everyone else's sun. Look at all the diamonds, they’re rising up. Can you see the emeralds drifting above? Dazzled by the sapphires shining with love. Gliding amethyst perfectly cut. I wished away the present fixated on the future. I was not to know I should've savoured. And now I piss away my future fixated on the past. No Gods to look upon my life in favour.
2.
No I couldn’t get much worse. Maybe I will come home again someday. And if I am your curse I’ll bless you when you go away & leave me. With this here simple mind I cannot find any kind of peace of mind. And even if I could see you one last time, darling would it be the same or close the door on all things I hate about my past? Revenge is sour, there is no just war. But I cannot close the door. All these things I hate about myself they always last. And I’ve been swimming in the deep end. Turning screams to whispers of old dear friends by ignoring everybody else. Making peaceful peace with myself I know that he’s in love with you. And I know that he will always be there. When you left I fell apart but I know that it was I who broke my own heart.
3.
I tried to be someone, scorched feathers upon the sun. I tried to pretend this here world was not painful or real at all. I tried to be like you, hide away from the cold harsh truth. Cracked reflections of the hero & the heroine I once knew. I know it's hard, I know it's real. But now I have become someone that you could never heal. And I tried like you never, you left me to teach myself. And I cried & swallowed my tears, salty exhausted fears. I tried to teach myself but I couldn't unlock my cell. I tried to douse the ice & fire, to melt, to quell this frozen hell. And I lied to protect you both & I still suffer to help. And my scars still tear open even after all these years. And I tried like you never, you pushed me to the edge. I tried to help myself but I really need your help. I tried to be someone that you could both be proud of. Be proud of me.
4.
And so it begins, the circle. Life signs are vital. And I'm just a child but my shadow runs wild. Time to give up again. And I thought about ending it all yesterday but I never want to lose you. And I couldn't wait to find another way but I never want to lose you. Thoughts so young yet so final. Life signs are vital. I am the charging rhino & the dying baby sparrow. Time to give up again. That's your blood you're spilling too. From our hearts it floods right through.
5.
Stole my heart & drenched it with sunlight. The river flows as rain falls through the night. Words & music cannot describe how this land makes me feel so alive, electric. Stole my heart & smothered it with hope. Took my worries & covered them in cope. Poetry & photographs cannot do justice for my love for you. The land of the secret rose silently whispers her prose. She is my sweet escape when night falls & my shadow grows. A mime of majesty, she offers love in tragedy. She is my home, my heart, my oldest fondest memory. Hold me in the flames 'til the fire burns. Oh I'm sleeping in ecstasy. Time can never change what remains the same. Bleeding smiles. Hidden haven shrouded by the trees. Rays of light come pouring through the leaves.
6.
We are the masters of our own disaster. Kindred of dysfunction. Behind closed doors, the family world war. Harmony ruptured. I meant it when I said I’d leave so let it go please mate. We never tried to be there for each other. It has been so many years so wash away those tears. I'm too young for this pain. Do they even want me? Do they even need me? I'll pretend for now that I'm strong somehow & bury this. Alcohol took control & took it’s toll on us all. Drunk on sadness & sunken madness. A family of lost souls. I meant it when I gave forgiveness so just let it go please mate. And I pray for the day that we can clean the slate & escape this abyss. Never be at the mercy of someone else's indecision. It has been so many years so wash away those tears. I’m too numb for this rain. Does she even want me? Does she even need me?
7.
Climbing a tree rooted in sweet liberty. Free from the bleak misery of reality. A bittersweet poetry. Caught in a childhood dream. Breaking the mould before we're aching & old. We will not do what we're told. No. Afloat on a boat. Sandcastle cruise through the moat. The creatures keep me afloat. We can do what we want, we are who we are. Nothing can stop us now, we have come too far. We're the next generation, we are set to stun. We are the future nation, we're our father's sons. And we dance all alone with adventure as our home with the breeze rushing air to the throne. We embrace the estranged. Our hearts they cannot be caged like lions dancing on trains.
8.
Father, oh dear Father won’t you come in from the cold? I can hear the drunks in the background & it’s getting kind of old. Oh Father won’t you come in from the cold? Someday when I’m older I’ll be eating these here words. The grand scheme closes in on me, sobriety grows blurred. Oh Father I’ll be eating these here words. And I know that the poison clouds the screams & the noise & we nearly got away this time but you cannot escape these problems. But these so called heroes are all so delirious that they’ll never get away this time. Giving up giving up is our only crime. Softly longing for a hero in a life of living hard. Tinkling the ivories in an elephant graveyard. Oh Father won’t you stop living so hard?
9.
I've found inner pieces of mind. I've left my future behind. I allow my darkness to shine. Lost time. Maybe, oh just maybe, oh maybe you might come back to me. Maybe, oh just maybe you'll fall back in my arms again. Hopeless romanticised poison. Reflecting sunken eyes of what once was a person. Immersion. If you remain I swear I'll stay the same. And if you can't stay I'll beg to you I'll change in vain again & again. This is not what I wanted but it's what I deserve. I'm living the lie that I learned. We're always giving up on it. I'm so full of shit. I couldn’t admit I can’t quit. You live on in ice cold dreams. Waking in frozen sweat. I guess I now know what you meant. Come back to me. You will come back to me eventually won’t you? These lies are all true. For all one knows. For all one shows. For all one chose.
10.
A raging storm insane. Dark skies & pouring rain. Stumbled & fell in pain into the ocean waves. This golden submarine in my aquarium. This cruel recurring dream of strange delirium. You won't be there when my heart stops beating. And you won't be there when my lungs stop breathing. I lay inside this pod. My slow demise is odd. In darkness, no escape. Life support slowly fades. Approach the atmosphere. Mercenaries appear. Their motives so unclear. What are they doing here? There is a way. There is another. There comes a day. There leaves a lover. There is a pain. There is a cure. There is endless blame & shame. There is forgiveness so pure. And who knew I’d be the one in need of help? Who knew I couldn’t save myself? I’m sick of this air, I cannot breathe. This planet asylum I can’t flee.

about

Part 1 of the conceptual triple album 'Trilogy'.

credits

released May 4, 2015

Songs written by Dave McPherson.
Music written by InMe.
Strings on Trauma: Door Slam Crescendo performed & recorded by Alex Davies.
Produced, mixed & mastered by Mike Curtis at CDS Studios.

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InMe England, UK

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